Living with chronic ill health is hard.
It can sap what little energy you have, making even the smallest tasks like getting dressed or making a cuppa seem like a monumental effort.
A good nights sleep is often elusive, leaving you constantly tired.
It means your quality of life is very low, you have no desire ( or energy) to do the things that you once enjoyed.
If you have a recognised illness like MS, MND or even cancer, friends & family may try to understand your issues and the limitations they place on your day to day functioning but when your issues are more related to previous health problems and are long term side effects that vary but end up merging into a huge life changing complaint peoples reactions can be a lot less understanding.
I am living with several long term health issues, mostly arising from my cancer diagnosis/treatment back in 2009/10.
Each on their own is often hard to deal with but over the years the issues have got worse & some have spawned their own subsequent health issues resulting in me being a "complex case".
It can sometimes seem like being a hyperchondriac especially when you make a list and see it all there infront of your eyes.
I don't expect any sympathy from anyone. I just wish I could turn the clock back 14 years and refuse the cancer treatment that is the reason for most of my health issues.
I know some people find that hard to accept but its my life that has been ruined. I have nothing to live for & haven't had for many years.
My mental health is bad, I now have crippling anxiety. Even if I could get out and about I wouldn't really want to so whats the point?
People say that talking helps but it doesn't for me. All talking does is remind me of the life I've lost.
I don't really know why I've written this blog post to be honest. I just feel the need to spew out the anger & resentment I have inside me.
I feel like no-one understands what I am going through and even though I have repeatedly asked for help & support, I get none.
If you've got this far, then thank you for taking the time to read this.
