How do you deal with grief?

It’s often said that life doesn’t come with an instruction manual; and sadly neither does death.

Loosing someone close to you is hard to deal with, especially when it comes unexpectedly.

I recently lost my Mother to a rare and very aggressive cancer called Cholangiocarcinoma.  Something I had never heard of and it took me a week to learn how to say it properly. It’s actually bile duct cancer and Mom died just short of 5 weeks from getting her diagnosis.

As a daughter, I always knew that one day the time would come when I lost my parents but I never expected it to be so soon and so quickly.

Living over 350 miles away meant that I wasn’t able to be there with Mom in her final days; being cared for in a wonderful hospice. When diagnosed she had been given 4 – 6 months so for her to die so quickly was a shock for everyone.

We had to wait 10 days for the funeral – I would have much preferred it to have been sooner because there was this feeling of being in limbo. Unable to grieve properly because there was so much paperwork and waiting.

The funeral was as Mom had wanted; short; non-religious; and simple.

It’s hard to accept that she is no longer around. No more phone calls from her on a Saturday evening after she has checked her lottery tickets. No more letters through the post when she sends me photos of the flowers in the garden. 

I’m angry that she has been taken from me; it’s unfair and I want her back. It would have been her 77^th Birthday on 21^st March and cancer has denied me the chance of ever singing Happy Birthday down the phone to her again.

So how do you deal with grief? I wish I knew. What I do know is that it hurts like hell and even though people keep saying that it gets easier, I can’t ever imagine a time when I don’t think of her .

In honour of Mom, I am holding an online auction on Facebook to raise funds for AMMF - the UK's only cholangiocarcinoma charity. I'm hoping that by keeping busy on the day it will make it easier for me to deal with things.

I hope things get easier as time passes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Macmillan Information Service Launch in Rothesay

Today was the soft launch day of the new Macmillan Information Service in Rothesay Library here on Isle of Bute.

We have a corner of the local library and a very nice set up with lots of leaflets and volunteers are there once a week to chat to anyone who wants some information about cancer.

Its is something that I think is desperately needed here on the island and I hope that the community will use the service.

Myself and the other 5 volunteers have gelled into a nice little group over recent months as we did our training before Xmas and have been eagerly awaiting the time when we can start. We go "live" so to speak next week. The service is available every day that the library is open and volunteers will be there every Tuesday.

It was nice to meet some of the Macmillan staff from the area office and have a chat about the service Macmillan provides.

So roll on next Tuesday when we can down to business.

Where do the days go???

Doesn't seem 5 minutes since Xmas and yet here we are at 1st March. Happy St David's Day to all the lovely welsh people out there!

Well, I know that I promised that I would be writing here a bit more regularly this year but I really don't know where the days go to!!
I do write quite a bit but it always seems to be for other blogs - either my own for Womb Cancer Support UK, the online support group I run http://wombcanceruk.blogspot.co.uk/ or occasional blog posts I do for Beauty Despite Cancer a wonderful website set up by a very lovely lady called Jennifer Young who developed a range of skincare and cosmetics specifically for cancer patients.

The past few months have been quite difficult for me personally as I lost my Mom to a very rare and aggressive form of cancer, Cholangiocarcinoma or bile duct cancer, just before Xmas.

In her memory I am running an online auction in March to raise funds for the only UK Cholangiocarcinoma charity AMMF You can find details of the auction here https://www.facebook.com/events/1402314750026909/ There is also a justgiving page if anyone would like to support this great charity http://www.justgiving.com/Kaz-Molloy2

If anyone would be prepared to donate an item to the auction then please message me via the FB event page. It would be much appreciated.

Loosing Mom has been very difficult but I am trying hard not to let my feelings of loss drag me back down into depression. It's not a very nice place to be, as anyone who has experienced it will know.

So I am trying hard to get out of the house a bit more and next week sees the launch of the new Macmillan Cancer Information and Support Service in our local library here on the island. I am one of 6 volunteers who will be part of the service and I am looking forward to starting.

If you have recently lost someone or are still coming to terms with a bereavement then you might like to know about a new twitter hour that is on Wed March 19th between 7pm-8pm. Use the hashtag  #BereavementHour and support each other through the tough times.

Right, I'm off for a cuppa. Catch you all soon, I promise!! xxx